Tired of Yelling; Resources to Help with Obedience

A universal mom struggle: getting kids to obey without having to yell. These resources are all about obedience: tips for teaching our kids to obey and using disobedience as an opportunity to remind them of their need for Jesus.


  • Connect with your children
    • Children are much more likely to take discipline from a loving parent that understands them
    • Spend time with them just having fun and learning about them
    • When it’s time to discipline, GO TO THEM. Do your best to not parent from the couch. Physical closeness is a game-changer
  • Talk to them about why you discipline: The Circle of Safety
    • Read Ephesians 4 to your children and talk to them about how God tells children to obey their father and mother. This is the only commandment with a promise and the promise is that it would go well with them. If they want their life to go well, they need to listen to the wise counsel of their loving parents.
    • Remind them that God is your boss. He made you their mom and you live under his authority. You are seeking God’s help to be the very best mom to each of your children that you can.
    • Use a hula hoop or draw a circle with tape on the floor. Stand with your family in the circle. Explain to your children that the rules in your family are like this tape or hula-hoop; they are the circle of safety that you have set up around them to keep them safe. When they step outside of that circle, they are in danger and will receive consequences.
  • Be serious the first time
    • If you tell your child not to do something and they do it, move quickly rather than letting the behavior go on and on until you yell so they take you seriously.
    • We talk about this on Episode 70 of the Gather Moms Podcast, it’s the wiggle, wave, whack technique that a famous horse trainer uses. When the child starts to step out of line you remind, remind strongly of the upcoming consequence if they continue, then give consequence.
    • Teach young children the motto that we obey RIGHT AWAY, ALL THE WAY and with a HAPPY HEART
  • Discipline is an opportunity to remind our children of their need for Jesus
    • We often see our children’s disobedience as an inconvenience (and, it usually is) but it’s also an opportunity because in that moment, they are revealing their sinful heart that is need of a Savior. When you have the chance, use those moments to ask questions about why they did what they did and help them see their need for Jesus.
    • You can ask these questions:
      • What happened?
      • What did you do? (Use I language)
      • What was the result?
      • Why did you do it?
      • Then remind them of their need for Jesus and offer prayer and discipline


The Gather Moms Podcast Episode 70
family values preview
Family Values; A Mom’s Guide to Making Each Day Matter
RightNow Media: Session Four Obedience
Parenting by Paul David Tripp