One evening, while contemplating my back-to-school to-do list, I found myself reminiscing about my journey as a mother sending my child to kindergarten for the very first time. I asked myself, was there anything I wish I had known or could have told myself? Here are some brief reflections from the past year.
One of the key lessons I’ve learned (the hard way) is that kids won’t always share the details of their day with you. I believe most moms would say that getting kids to talk about their day has always been a challenge, so why did this surprise me so much with my son? Our sweet kiddos are overwhelmed from the day and need time to decompress. I became a little frustrated but realized it is more important to create a safe space for him to express himself whenever he feels ready. A smile and hug at the end of the day was a better option than a lot of questions. And, as the year went on, I found my son opened up right at bedtime. (Lord, give us patience at bedtime!)
I was also reminded that when kids experience a lot of change (like a new routine of school), they are probably going to act out at home. I had to constantly remind myself to trust God and extend compassion to my son as he grew and adjusted. In a blog post by Dr. Amy Nasamran, she reminds us “We can flip the question from, “Why do children act out?” to “What is my child trying to tell me?” Behind every acting out behavior is a feeling or a need. Knowing that this is the reason behind why children act out, we can first understand and meet that need.” Flipping that question from “what am I doing wrong” to “what is his behavior really saying” helped me navigate that season. There were a lot of days that he complained about going and then had a great day. This rough season did indeed pass and he learned to love going to school! (Of course, this is different for every family, and I encourage you to seek what type of schooling is best for you and your situation.)
The last thing I wish I had prepared my heart for was walking through disappointments with my son, minor and major. It broke my heart when he had a falling out with a friend or didn’t get a line right at the end of the year performance. It’s impossible to shield our children from every disappointment or hardship they may face. Those situations made me want to teach him where his worth really comes from – in his identity in Christ! Through trial and error, I learned that my role is to point him to Jesus, walk alongside him, and offer guidance and support as he navigates a new school year.
Through trial and error, I learned that my role is to point him to Jesus, walk alongside him, and offer guidance and support as he navigates a new school year.
Melissa Conklin
I find it so interesting that the things I would have told myself have a lot more about my role as a mom and walk with Christ than academic success. In the end, God was faithful through it all! I am looking forward to beginning a new school year by embracing the small, messy, and joyful moments. Which, by the way, they WILL learn how to read and kindergarten teachers are angels from Heaven!
