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150: I’m Struggling to Parent Well

Parenting is such a huge topic! Each of us have specific struggles we are navigating with our kids, maybe even different struggles for each kid creating an overwhelming feeling. Today Rebecca shares 2 parenting principles that are important in every home.

  • Intentional Parenting

Raising passionate Jesus followers or even good citizens takes intentionality. Parents need to know what kind of adults they want to produce and then do their best to raise their children with that end in mind. 

Proverbs 22:6 (NIV), Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.

Remember that this verse is a principle, not a promise. God doesn’t give us control over the outcomes of our children. He asks us to trust him and parent well but we can do all the ‘right’ things and still have children that choose their own way.

1 Corinthians 3:6-8, “I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God has been making it grow. So neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow. The one who plants and the one who waters have one purpose, and they will each be rewarded according to their own labor.

  • Managing Emotions

The ability to accept disappointment and unpredictability and talk yourself down, that’s a very long developmental process that most children don’t have until they are older.

We see this so much in kids today. They don’t know how to handle big emotions. They feel so deeply and it can come out in inappropriate ways – name calling, foul language, violence, gossip, meanness, bullying, etc. We can be kind and firm with our kids, teaching them that emotions are natural, but the expression of them has boundaries.

You can start young with these techniques:

  1. Echo – Repeat their feelings back. I see that you’re sad because you want that toy and I said no. I see you are mad at mommy because she won’t let you run off from the basket.
  2. Validate – That would make me mad too. I like being able to go wherever I want. 
  3. Offer a choice – You can either hold my hand as we finish our shopping or we’ll leave and go to the car because you can’t obey. It’s your choice.
  4. Clear consequences – You want to hold my hand? Great! I want you to know that if you change your mind and run off again, I will pick you up and walk out of here. 

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